Farley here.

Why am I trapped?

My human, Kristina, is explaining to me the dangers of porcupines.

Like I don’t remember.

“If you don’t run up the hill, I’ll let you off leash,” Kristina says.

“Yah, Yah,” I bark and nod enthusiastically.

“You remember the vet?”

I shudder inside. What dog doesn’t remember the vet. Two years ago, I chased a porcupine up the hill behind our cottage. It stuck its head in a hole and left its whole body out for me to see. I don’t think porcupines are the smartest, but who am I to say, since I’m the one who ended up with quills in my face?

Kristina put the cone of shame over my head so I couldn’t bite at the quills and drove me to vet. The waiting room was full and everyone saw me wearing the cone. Very embarrassing.

The vet said she’d have to anaesthetize me and for Kristina to come back later that night.

I frantically looked from Kristina to the vet and then put on my most submissive pose. I held in the bark that wanted to burst out from me. The vet took me into a room without Kristina. Yikes. She said I was so good, yup that’s right – so good – that she was going to try to take out one quill without using anaesthetic. I sat calmly as she took them all out and Kristina got to take me home.

I bring my focus back to the present and run my paw over my nose to show Kristina I remember.

“You remember the pliers?” Kristina asks.

I groan and roll my head on the deck.

“I see you do,” she says.

Last year, I chased a porcupine again. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn’t.  Kristina didn’t take me to the vet. I knew it was going to be bad when I saw pliers in her hand and she said to Matt, “Hold him tight.”

They pulled out all the quills without the help of a vet. Kristina likes to learn these things for herself.

Now you have to remember I’m a dog. So today, I catch the scent of a porcupine and blast toward the hill. Kristina grabs for me and misses. Unlucky for me, Matt doesn’t miss. He catches my harness and drags me behind the gate.

Now I’m stuck. No running free for me.

“Why didn’t I listen?”

Woof Woof.