Farley’s Friday: A Proofreading Dog

Farley here.

I’m getting a bit jealous of Kristina’s writing. She spends more time “working” than walking me. When we lived in the Bahamas we were off the boat by 7 am at the latest, and would meet our friend for life, Debi. She’s a human, not a dog, but still my friend. We’d go for a long beach run. Then the ladies would do yoga or work out on the beach while I relaxed in the shade.

Now this is what I get to do.

Farley reading DESCENT

Kristina thinks I can proofread. If I wag may tail once, it means all is good. If I whine, I’ve found a mistake.  My day starts with an hour of reading while Kristina markets her book, whatever that means.

She’s hosting a Facebook Launch Party for her debut novel, DESCENT, on July 25th from 3-6 pm EST. There will be prizes – meaning authors are giving away books to the lucky people who are the first to answer a trivia question. I can’t tell you what the questions are because she won’t tell me. Come by and say hello to me, Farley, and you could win a book! Just click here to join.

Woof Woof


Farley’s Friday: Keeping Cool

Farley Here,

If you haven’t heard, British Columbia is having a heat wave. So how do you keep cool? You wade in the river. Now, I’m only allowed in the run off portion of the Toby Creek. The main channel is flowing at full speed and could carry me away, but the water is still cold and tasty in the shallows.

Farley In Creek

And yes, I’m still on a leash. We haven’t seen a bear in a week, but my humans want another week to go by to be sure the bears have moved to a higher altitude.

After romping in the creek, I head home for  a nap – in my favourite place. I’m not actually allowed on the couch, but I snuck up when Kristina wasn’t looking.

Farley on Couch

She loves me too much to do anything about it. Lucky for me, Matt isn’t at home, so please don’t tell him.

Woof Woof.

Farley’s Friday: I’m Thirsty…

Farley here,

I don’t like getting my paws wet. I’m thirsty, parched actually, but my pads should always stay dry.  So I lived on a sailboat for five years. That doesn’t mean I love water. I love being on water, preferably in a kayak or a dingy. Fish belong in water, not me.

Matt’s wearing boots, He doesn’t have to put his feet in the water. Now that I think of it, he drinks from a water bottle, he doesn’t even have to put his snout in the water.


Notice the leash. Still too many bears in the area that I might chase. My humans think they can’t trust me when a bear is around. I try to explain I need to protect them, but sometimes humans don’t understand dog language.

Woof Woof.

Farley’s Friday: Canadian Wildlife

Farley here,

Excitement in the forest. That’s an understatement. One buck and three bears.

I woke up to a misty morning, stretched my legs and headed for the back door. Staring in at me was this buck. His silky antlers are about the size of his ears but will grow. He’s a white tail and usually hangs with two others.


I’ve learned the hard way that a buck will move away if I’m in the area. A doe will stand her ground, stomp at me and warn me to head the other way. I get the shakes when I’m around a doe and am smart enough to know it’s her territory. Bears are different. I need to get them away from my humans.


Yesterday, I arrived home from my morning walk with wet paws. We  climb the steps at the side of our house, blissfully unaware of what’s  lurking in the forest. Kristina grabs my towel and squats with her back to the forest. I lift my front paw for her. We’re face-to-face. I lick her nose.

I glance over her shoulder. My body stiffens. My upper lip curls. I emit a slow growl.

Kristina tenses. Her adrenaline rush is so strong, I can feel it in my bones. She looks like Sigourney Weaver in Alien. You know the scene where Weaver realizes an alien is behind her but she doesn’t look back.

Inch-by-inch Kristina turns her head. I lunge, trying to get over Kristina’s shoulder. I need to protect her. She grabs my harness and stops me. Twenty feet away, the black bear stares at us. He doesn’t move.

Kristina slowly drags me into the house, all the while saying, “Whoa Bear.”

Matt explodes out the door with and air horn. After three blasts, the bear disappears. He takes his time, meandering through our backyard, not really caring we’re there.


The day before, this guy was waiting for us at the side of our house.  He was smaller but still not concerned we were so close to him.


The third bear I mentioned, I saw a couple of weeks ago while we were out walking. Maybe the rest of day will be calm.

Woof woof.

Farley’s Friday: A Wheaten Terrier and a Bear

Farley here,

Why am I running so hard? I need to protect my humans.


I catch a strong scent. I’ve not smelled this particular aroma before, but something seems wrong to me. Kristina and Matt notice I’m agitated and call me to their side. Too late. My brain has kicked into instinct mode and off I run.

Then I see the creature. It’s black. It’s coat is shiny. And it’s huge. Well compared to me anyway.

I turn back to check my humans are not following.  Kristina picks up a branch and is rapidly approaching. Matt’s faster and heads my way. Don’t they understand they need to get away? 

I bolt at the bear, he hesitates, then sees I’m one serious dog. He climbs part way up a tree and waits. Kristina and Matt come closer, talking loudly and telling me to come. The bear shimmies farther up the tree, using his giant claws to move quickly.

I circle the bottom. “Stay up there,” I bark at the bear. Then back to Kristina and Matt, “Get out of here.”

Kristina and Matt call me one more time, then do as I ask. When I think they’re far enough from the bear, I bark one last time, and follow my humans out of the forest.

Not bad for a day’s work. You can call me the protector. I’ve done my job, and I’m proud.

Woof Woof

ps. I was only a little scared.


Farley’s Friday: A Slip and Fall

Farley here, You all know about my winter hiking boots. Well, now that spring is here, I have a new sleek version. They are so light, my feet feel like they’re running on clouds.

Out on one of our hikes through the forest, I stop to sniff a tree – you know, because trees smell great as the snow starts to melt. From a tree behind me, a squirrel natters at me. I whip my head toward the sound and bolt in the creature’s direction … Farley slip 1 But alas, my shoes let me down. When I’m bare pawed I have grip. I forget myself for a moment and run hard. Out go my paws from under me. How embarrassing. I’m a serious kind of dog, and I like to appear regal. Farley slip 2 Instead of looking regal, I look like a snow head. Farley Slip 3 Woof Woof

Farley’s Friday: The Case of The Disappearing Ball

Farley here,

Do you know where my ball went?

Kristina lobbed it over my head and across the field. What I don’t understand is why she threw the ball when I was still on leash. I don’t think she was paying attention. She tossed it. I ran. She fell when I jerked the leash.

I looked back for a second, just to check she was okay, and then kept running. I had my eye on the bright orange ball as it flew through the air. I was concentrating hard. And then . . . in an instant it disappeared.

No matter how hard I searched, I couldn’t find it.

Lost Ball

Can someone mail me another ball? By the way, Kristina wasn’t hurt during the production of this blog.

Woof Woof.

Farley’s Friday: Loneliness

Farley here,

Boo Hoo. I’m lonely this week. Finn left me. You remember him? He’s the Icelandic Sheepdog who lived with us for two weeks. He went back to Calgary, where ever that is. I thought he’d moved in with us for good. Sometimes my peeps don’t explain things very well. Kristina still thinks I understand full sentences. Finn did bark that he missed the city, so I guess he needed his own life back with his peeps.

Now I have to play with the ball my myself.  I carry it around and give Kristina my most pathetic look. She won’t wrestle with me for the ball, she won’t chase me across the snow, and she won’t bite the ball and try to pry it out of my mouth.


Someone send me another dog.

Woof Woof.